You Gotta Have Friends

Sometimes, when I am feeling blue, I like to sit in my "Shaky Chair" and chat with my friends, Ellie, Schnappy, and Ziggy. Sometimes we listen to music. I have a few favorite songs at the moment, among them is "The lalala song", "The hmm hmm song", and "Sounds of the Rainforest".

On this particular day, it was a bit hot so The Boob did right by me and stripped me down to my drawers before setting me in my recliner. As usual, the fellas were already there. They always seem to get there before me. Its not my fault The Boob takes forEVER to change me. And then she wants to cuddle, jeez, can't a guy get a moment alone to hang with his buddies!? Leave me in peace woman!

As usual Ellie was talking about food. I am pretty sure she has some kind of eating disorder. You don't get that big just because of a glandular problem. I mentioned my theory once to Schnappy when I thought she wasn't listening but apparently she overheard and our relationship hasn't been the same since. She is sort of a know it all and even though I continually apologize for what is most likely the truth, she keeps reminding me that an elephant never forgets. Yea, whatever, a baby doesn't forg...huh, what was I saying? Sorry, there was a bit of lint in the corner of the room.

Anyway, as I was saying, Schnappy is a bit of a downer. He is always talking about the war, and global warming, and winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Wait, no, thats Al Gore. Same sad eyes, I get them confused. I think the reason Schnappy is so sad all the time, is that his parents never had enough money to get his teeth fixed. They are a bit scraggly and pointy. Please, that whole goth vampire look is SO 1995.

Ziggy is my favorite. I am entranced by her use of stripes of contrasting colors to minimize her flaws and accentuate her assets. She is the motor mouth of the group. It really is hard to get a word in edgewise when she starts in on a topic. You know how people say it takes two to have an argument, well, those people didn't know Ziggy. Once she starts going, all you can do is just watch the show.

These are the friends that makes the endless minutes between eating, pooping and sleeping bearable. They may have personal space issues, I have yet to touch any of them, but they are my friends, and with friends like these, who needs teddy bears. Or as they are known in the infant world "SIDS bears".

Ta ta for now, I am expecting company and I must splash on the Powdre du Bebe that my Aunt Britty likes so much. What I do for the ladies...