My Little Gentleman

Though he might only be 7 weeks old, he is already a man about town. It seems that the only way I can get him to nap is to take him out of the house and parade him around strangers. I suspect that this is because he wants people to think I am insane. When I complain about him never napping while he sleeps peacefully in a friend's arms (preferably a cute blond, apparently), it causes more than a few raised eyebrows. This proves that making a woman feel crazy is something that men come out knowing how to do. Another nature vs. nurture question answered. You're welcome science.

He is a world traveler at heart, there isn't a better place to nap in his opinion than his carseat. He actually has the baby balls to yell at me if I don't start the car fast enough for him. Therefore, I am convinced that he is ecstatic about applying for his passport. Yes, at 7 weeks old you need a passport to travel outside of the country. Question: will it be small enough for him to carry it in his tiny back pocket? Sub-Question: How will he sign it? Follow-up Question: If it is not signed does it not make it invalid and therefore not usable? Anyway, they tell me even a tiny baby needs a passport. I asked just to be sure and the postman said that it was because of "all that" that happened "back then". I assume he is talking about 9-11 unless there was some invasion of tiny infant terrorists I didn't hear about.

Seriously, what is the rational behind the decision to make babies have passports? Are they afraid that someone might strap a Pampers on a bomb and try and sneak it on a plane? Tiny illegal immigrant midgets disguised in bonnets? Anyway, I digress. In October we plan on the baby accompanying us to a return to the land of our people. What people you ask, the white people? The drunk people? Both! Scotland! I wonder if they sell those kilts in size teeny. I am already planning the pictures I am going to take. "Oliver's First Hagis." "Oliver's First Pint." "Oliver Held by a Druid." "Oliver Herding Sheep." "Oliver's Return to Stonehenge." (That last one is funny, get it? Stonehenge, reincarnation, haha?)

Looking forward to the memories we will make with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin in October!