Baby Torture

Yesterday was his two month checkup. It was also the day of the dreaded inoculations, or for the layman, his shots. First, the good part. He is at 11lbs, 22 in. exactly. He is in the fiftieth percentile for weight and twenty-fifth percentile for height. I guess that makes him short and fat? I read an article recently that says that the measurement of your baby is just done to make you feel like you are getting your money's worth. I believe there is something far more sinister involved. When you look at the chart, notice how many formula companies there are on the side of it. Every. Single. One. Hmm, could it be that they are measuring a breast fed baby against formula fed babies? Well, I am glad you asked! Yes, they are!

Then came the questions about his development. Does he smile? Well, depends, are you funny? Does he make noises? Yes, he googles. (This was my actual answer. I mean, they ARE user friendly, but not THAT user friendly!) Can he hold his head up? Only when he does something he is proud of. She said that him launching backwards is a sign that he is ahead of the curve (duh!) and that he should be getting tummy time - or as Oliver calls it, smother time.

Next we had the rigorous examination. Okay okay, NOW he has thrush. Just a tiny bit, nothing to worry about! She said if he and I weren't feeling the thrush to just let it go away on its own. In other news the doctor confirmed my earlier findings, he has a cute hiney. She said he had clean ears which is good news since puppies are so prone to get ear mites. The doctor suggested Vitamin D supplements but told me that 15 min a day in indirect sun is probably enough. CT thinks we should go balls to the wall here and give him anything and everything that we hear about. I say, when was the last time you saw a kid with Rickets? In a Charles Dickens novel right?

Then the worst part...the shots. He had one oral vaccine to guard against some stomach flu. I call this vaccine "The Squirt Giver" as he was up all night with diarhea and vomiting (only on me, CT stayed dry somehow). Then, he received two shots IN. EACH. LEG. I don't remember what they were for, polio was one - oh good he won't get a disease that no longer exists. Some kind of upper respiratory thing and two others that I am pretty sure were just filled with salt water that they gave him just for spite. I am on to you Nurse Ratchet!

Now, I never understood that whole "this is gonna hurt me more than it will you" thing until yesterday. He only cried until he had a boob in his mouth. I STILL want to cry. Especially because he was so sick afterwards. All he did was whine and sleep all day long. I felt like a horrible mother and I still feel that four shots are FAR too much for a tiny baby like he is.