Yes, some smug parents call this stage the "Terrific Twos" and to them I say (after I have rolled my eyes) you are a bunch of liars! There is nothing terrific about the tantrums, or the over exaggeration of pain, or the ignoring of my voice, or the avoidance of my eye contact, or the night waking with screaming every hour for half an hour or the refusal to eat. However, I also hate the dismissive parents who call it the Terrible Twos and do nothing to lessen their burden by ignoring the behavior as a "stage". So, we call it the Tumultuous Twos, which reminds us that yes, things are changing, personality and memories are being formed and we are all very confused and frustrated right now, but that is no one's fault and we should look to see what we can do to lessen the transition to preschool age!
I am reading "Playful Parenting" right now, which is a great book but should have a disclaimer on it that says: If you are pregnant, recovering from surgery or laid up in any way, do not read this book because it will make you feel lazy and pathetic as a parent. Cause as much as I would LOVE to crawl around, wrestle, and have tea parties in that tiny chair, my ever spreading ass and my aching hips don't allow it. It does have some really awesome ideas about dealing with tantrums and understanding why kids do and say things that are hurtful to others.
Just about the only thing that is going well and easy is potty training. He STILL won't pull his own pants down, he feels that is a "mama" job, but I guess I don't mind too much. He is learning that pants do not equal diaper, and that is a huge victory. The kid has been using the potty since July and we are still not done. Half of this is my laziness/fear of going full monty and just tossing the diapers. The other half is not knowing what the heck I am doing so just following his cues. Lets not talk about those parents who potty train over the weekend....
Of course, as I write this, he is playing sweetly with his daddy in the other room, making "soup" and reading books which brings me to another point. I call it the "Two-Faced Twos". Part of their plan to drive you crazy in the third year is to behave perfectly around the other parent in the house.
2 comments:
Thanks for the warning about "Playful Parenting" -- it's sitting in a pile next to me in my bedrest reading pile, after you guys mentioned it on NP. Although at the rate I'm getting through the books, it will be looong after I'm mobile again that I read it. I just can't focus, I end up watching America's Funniest Videos because it doesn't require an attention span longer than 8 seconds.
Sorry that the twos are challenging right now... I'm pretty sure this means you've earned a very laid-back shim.
That is so funny--I originally read it in exactly the same situation as you (17 years ago). At that point we had a "playful learning" playgroup, though, so I let other people plan activities and just waddled around. I guess some things never change.
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