Dog for sale

If you are one of my neighbors and just happened to look over your fence into my yard this afternoon, please, don't call the authorities. My dog did not, repeat, did not eat my baby. I know what you thought you saw. The nest of half eaten diapers, the burp cloths spread asunder and my dog prancing amongst the debris happily tossing a onesie up in the air and catching it joyously in her teeth. I assure you, no baby was caught in the crossfire and was safely with me when the massacre of baby items happened.

Okay, so some of it was my fault. In my struggle to juggle (poet and didn't know it) a diaper bag, a bill I needed to mail, a dress to return, and a baby without dropping one or more of these items I forgot to put the dog outside before I left the house. To tell you the truth, it was the last thing on my list of priorities. Little did I know that dogs too feel sibling rivalry. My theory as to why the dog passed up all the usual suspects; the box of chocolates on the table, the stack of newspaper on the counter and (her favorite) the drawer full of pot holders is this: she went for the things that smelled most like that new tiny person who takes all of our attention away from her. Unluckily for us, we just moved a changing table downstairs and loaded it with $50 or 12 hours worth of disposable diapers.

The saddest part about this whole thing is that I was so desperate for diapers, as we are down to a precious few, that I picked around the yard for any usable ones that might have been overlooked in my dog's murderous spree. I found two, I brushed them off and I plan on using them.