Bad mommy

When you get pregnant people will tell you that eventually, everyone will give you a piece of advice and most of the time, you shouldn't listen. The unspoken exception, of course, is the piece of advice that person gives you. It is true though, the longer you are a parent the more you will be made to feel that you are a bad one. Below you will find the examples that perhaps your intuition is the best solution to Nosy Nellies.

Baby Wearing: Some people, who double as body builders I assure you, decide to carry around their kids in the car seat or to lug around a stroller everywhere they go. I decide to put my baby in a pouch and take him everywhere I go. This way, I have two hands and Oliver stays warm and secure. I was so proud! Then, I went to the "natural" parenting store down in South Austin. Where I was accosted by not one but two hippies who I HOPE worked there who informed me that I was doing it all wrong. The baby was sound asleep unaware that I was putting his very life in danger by not wearing my sling properly. Thankfully, this twit helped me to see the error in my ways, switched the sling around and my baby's existence was made better for it. Of course, he was ill informed because like the ingrate he is, Oliver started wailing as soon as the sling was "fixed". Thanks so much hippy lady! How about I don't tell you how to put deodorant on and you don't tell me the "right" way to wear what amounts to two yards of fabric.
Binkies (Pacifiers): As a rule, I am against them. I heard that they caused nipple confusion (whatever that means) and can cause the breastfeeding relationship to end early as they cover up the signs of true hunger. However, I kept hearing over and over that a binky habit is easier to break than that of thumb sucking. This is due of course to the law against removing your child's thumbs I guess, silly laws. So, we decided to try a pacifier. The first time, he spit it out the first couple of times but finally took it. Then, we had a horrible night where he kept spitting MY nipple out. A couple of days later we tried again and he took the binky with no issue and was so cute doing so. Later, at feeding time, he refused to latch again. I then realized, THIS is nipple confusion and no wonder people stop breastfeeding! The pacifier met our trashcan.

Breastfeeding: To be fair, most people are pretty supportive of this choice in this day and age. However, you still get some good ones from the older generation. It hurts (not if you do it right), it is inconvenient (yes, and formula runs freely in the streets), other people can't feed the baby (it is the one time I get to hold the baby around others) and finally, my favorite, formula is just as good (in no way is formula even CLOSE to being just as good as boobie juice, ask any doctor anywhere).

Cloth diapering: Boy did I ever hear it about this one. No one thought this would work and everyone laughed in my face when I told them my plans to cloth diaper my baby. Firstly, never tell me I can't do something. I will prove to you that I can just so I can laugh in your face. However, I tried the disposables for two weeks while I was getting used to being a mother. But, due to an under-exercised dog and an overactive baby bowel, we soon ran out of pampers. I refused to buy more and so we made the switch. Now, with 'sposies we had daily leaks. Because of this, I was doing laundry every day. With cloth, we have had only one leak in two weeks and that was due to me being a forgetful person and not changing him after a feeding, oops. I now do laundry (just diapers) every two or three days and I don't have to bundle up the baby, get him in a car seat and go to the grocery store every time I need more diapers. Everyone should use cloth, they are cuter, funner, cheaper and better for the earth. Mainly though, I do it for the cute covers!

Co-Sleeping: After reading several books on both sides of the issue, I decided I would rather my child feel secure rather than pop out of my warm cozy womb and then be placed in a cold vacant room with nary a friendly face in sight. So when a friend mentioned that she fears she would crush the child, I was quick to come back with "It is really difficult to do so as you are very aware of your child being in the bed." To my shock, this friend had the gall to retort, "Oh, I guess all those people killed their babies on purpose then." Actually, those who do end up rolling over on the baby are usually drunk and forget that the baby is even there, not conscientious co-sleeping parents. Just for those of you wondering, the baby sleeps in his crib and cradles during naps, just not at night.

Okay, so there you have it. Every time I have tried it their way, I end up realizing why I decided to do it my way to begin with. I appreciate almost all of the advice I have received, but I must remember that I am the mommy, not them, and this child will be a reflection of the decisions I make. Ultimately, I will need to answer to the man my son will become and not those well wishers so I have to make sure that every choice I make will directly affect that future person. Do I really want those without such a stake in it making my decisions for me!?