You always hear about these horrible mothers who shake their babies. We all gasp with shock and horror at the atrocities that befall their little ones. Those without children swear up and down that they would never do such a thing. Those with children lie through their teeth and agree. I do not believe I am alone in saying that sometimes it takes every ounce of self control not to do such a thing to this innocent, helpless, beautiful, annoying as heck baby who WILL. NOT. STOP. CRYING. Just when I think, it couldn't get louder, somehow he finds a new cry that is even more shrill, more loud and more cringe worthy than the last. Is he the love of my life? Yes. Do I sometimes want to throw him out with the bathwater? Yes. Would I ever do such a thing? Lets just say I am glad that my husband is available in the evenings. I am pretty sure he is doing this to annoy me.
Sure I feel like a horrible mother for even thinking such things. But really, I think it means that I am a normal mother. You think Mother Nature made babies so wide eyed and cute because they were easy?! No way! She knew that each and every one of us would stare at this little human larvae that came rip roaring out of your lady parts after 11 hours of pain with eyes not that of a mother but that of a victim in a horror movie. The only thing saving these helpless creatures and thusly, the human race from extinction, is the same thing that saves puppies from being drowned. Big eyes, soft skin and tiny features. How simple are we? There is a theory we studied in college that there really is no such thing as 'altruism' even between mother and child. The only reason we want to help our children survive and grow up is because it benefits us to have our spawn go on. A way for us to live forever.
We had a good run of it though. A good three months with consistent sleeping, eating, pooping schedules and very little crying. I believe this new development can only be called Colic. Which is a doctor's nice way of saying, "I have no idea why your baby is crying. That will be a $30 copay please." Having done some research while hiding from my child in the living room, apparently he should outgrow this stage by...oh yes, three months. I hope someone tells him that, cause he must have misread his 'How To Be A Baby' manual and thought it said he should start being colicy at three months.
2 comments:
I tiny terrorist (now nearly 25) didn't have colic, but eventually did have ear infections. (I evidently did terrorize my mother with colic.) I agree that it's just a damned good thing they're adorable when they sleep, or our cavepeople ancestors would have bashed all their little heads against the cave walls. In fact, I still wonder how that didn't happen.
They *do* grow out of it. Eventually. I don't believe I've felt colicky since sometime last week!
Caelin found his voice around 3 months .. I called it that cuz i refused to say colic LOL ! But I found he really really enjoyed pop music - Sure it rocked my self esteem that Brittany Spears could make my baby stop crying when I couldn't but I quickly go over it ... he also loves janet jackson and now that stupid umbrella song .....
but on a positive note my dreams of having a gay son seem a little less out of reach HA !
Good luck I hope Oliver chills out soon !
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