The Dude Abides

What is a woman to do when her mate is desirous of a perfectly made White Russian and there is no cream in the house? Not a problem if said woman is lactating! That's right kids, you CAN mix breast milk and vodka! I wouldn't give it to the baby (babies prefer whiskey) but your husband will love it! What other drink can both give you a buzz AND stem cells!? Don't try this with formula...the powder mixes poorly with the Kahlua. I know, I know, there are some of you who think this is gross, but I ask you: what is grosser? Drinking human breast milk from someone you know and love, or a stranger COW'S breast milk? I rest my case.

In other news, CT is no longer allowed to get dressed in the morning. Invariably what happens is the baby tries to eat enough to settle in for a nap just around the time CT gets out of the shower. This causes Oliver's eyes to fly open and my nipple to get pulled half way across the bed when he turns his head to stare at his daddy. Then, for the next hour as CT joyful and unfettered goes to work and probably has coffee - bastard - I have to contend with a sleepy, angry and full baby. There is nothing worse than this combination because now I can't even nurse him to sleep and I just have to deal with the whine. I have written up a letter for his fellow workers in case there is a problem with CT coming to work naked.

To Whom it May Concern:

I am sorry, my husband could not put pants on this morning as his son was eating. However, if you will notice, he IS wearing a turtle neck.

Thank you,
Alyssa Goss, Mgmt.

That should do the trick! Also, shout out to my mom who lost her precious, sweet dog today. The dog was neither sweet nor precious, but he was family, and we loved him just the way he was.

This blog post is in memory of Parris Murray Hansen 1996 -2008