Meltdown #1

Hey, I made it to nearly 17 weeks without an emotional meltdown!! Sure, these human emotions came creeping back almost immediately after I got that positive stick. I cry at the normal girl stuff like sappy movies, kid's books and the occasional country song, but no moment of, "hey, wait, why am I crying and why can't I stop." However, my streak was not to last.

Today I got up at 6:30 because of continued diarrhea - awesome! - which woke the baby up. While the kiddo ate his oatmeal, I started to read a 94 page paper on the Swine Flu vaccination, pretty typical day in our house. Then, just as CT was coming down stairs, I notice that Oliver's juice cup has spilled all over the couch. Oh joy! So glad we spent so much money on a new couch!! I went back to reading after it was cleaned. CT makes himself some breakfast and asks me if I want any, I say no because food in the morning makes me want to hurl even when I am not sporting a fundus.

I decide that yes, some eggs ARE a good idea so CT goes to make me some. Oliver is playing with a ball on the floor, and I hear it bouncing. I thought. Turns out it was CT's coffee that spilled everywhere. Instant anger from CT, which I figured was turned on me for not watching HIS coffee closer. I rush to clean it, CT rants and raves a bit in the kitchen. I notice that CT - who is cleaning up after my shoddy clean-up job (only he can do it right after all) - has left the stove on. I quickly turn it off cause the last thing I need is him yelling at me because the pan burned. He notices a few minutes later and yells "what now you DON'T want to eat?" and I tried to explain that it was because I didn't want it to burn and him get mad at me.

At this point I notice that he has egg on his face, literally, and I grab the towel to wipe it off. He jerks the towel and my arm attached around until I let go of it and in tears now, explain that he just had something on his face and I was gonna get it. He freaks out and asks me what my problem is and that I have been mad all morning. SO not true...but now I can't stop crying. I make MYSELF an egg while sobbing uncontrollably.

I realize this is probably not actually what happened, and that this is just what it looks like in the eyes of a pregnant lady. The rest of the morning went just as badly, it rained, the baby missed naptime and cried for 30 minutes IN the church, I had a ton of coupons to cut, etc. Normal crap sure, but I just want to cry constantly.

Random Videos

Well, in my desire to write more blogs, I decided to get organized today with all my hundreds of pictures and tens of videos. Here are some videos that don't go with any particular blog, but I still want you all to see. So here is a mish mash of all the fun things Oliver has been up to since I last updated videos. Now in all one post!





Oliver dancing in his carseat to Ani DiFranco. Man, once those horns come on, he can't sit still!!



Baby #2's video debut. This video is LONG so you may want to fast forward to the end unless you just enjoy seeing my huge disgusting white flesh staring at you in the face. In which case...SICKO!

Oliver helping with laundry day. Some one had to, notice what a mess his room is...it has since seen the wrath of a nesting pregnant woman and is now livable again, at least that is what I told CPS.


Oliver has various fears that are new and exciting. Here are two of them. First, dead bugs/lizards.

Next fear, rain. Not just Purple Rain, but all rain. It even frightens him when he sees raindrops on the window of the car. Here is what started it, the first rain after a LONG drought. Poor kid probably didn't know what was happening!



This is my favorite of the bunch, and while it IS short, it is worth it just for the laugh, albeit fake as a three dollar bill.

In the Garden

To distract us all from the pain of losing a sister/aunt/sister-in-law to Scotland today, my mother in law came all the way from Dallas to visit us and cheer us up! We went to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center right outside of San Antonio (otherwise known as South Austin). I do not recommend going in the Fall, it was a bit like paying $7 a head to look at dried grass and mosquito breeding ponds. Oliver however, did not care one bit about the flowers. He was far too busy pointing out the "OWs" (cacti) and trying to go into restricted areas. Here are some pictures. From our trip I have learned the following things about toddler ownership.

1. Ponds are for throwing rocks into

2. Sometimes the wind needs help to make the best music

3. Running is only fun when you are running ahead, not running behind.

4. Wildflowers are for looking at, but they smell bad

5. Spineless cacti are a great way to freak out your mom

6. Flower sniffing is exhausting!

After our wildflower perusing, we had a lunner (lunch/dinner) at Threadgills. Did you know they have free refills on sides!!? Holy crap it blew my ever-loving mind!! How long have I been going there, wishing I could get just a bit more macaroni or a titch more collard greens and wished I could, but was afraid to be charged another $3? How could I not know!? I told the waitress it was ON next visit, and I meant it, and she knew it...I saw the fear in her eyes.

Solids Strike

Can kids live on juice? My kid used to be a good eater, he ate veggies and fruits and beans and everything! Well, he never ate meat, or rather, ate meat as much as people are supposed to eat meat, about once a week or so. Now? I can hardly get him to eat anything. It is so frustrating! I promised myself I would never be one of those moms who made him eat everything on his plate, because I really do think kids know when they need food and when they are done, but this is getting to be ridiculous!

Foods I can get him to eat no matter what include:
Cheese
Chips
French Fries
Beans and rice
Green beans fresh from the garden
Carrots from the garden
Peppers from the garden
(seriously, the kid won't eat grocery store produce)

Foods that are hit or miss:
Apples
Bananas
Eggs
Chicken
tomatoes
Greens (only in soups)
broccoli

Foods that are right out:
Red meat
corn
peas

Okay, well, I guess he isn't on a strike...maybe I just need to calm the heck down. I worry that he eats too much fruit and not enough veggies. I think I need to just trust that he knows what his little body needs and supply him with variety. We try to keep sweets to a minimum (which some people believe makes him mistreated -cough, mama, cough) and I would rather him have fruit than ice cream or something. How much fruit is too much? Is it okay that he never sits down to eat a meal? He is constantly picking at food and walking around with it, BIG snacker. Is that okay?

Ketchup

My sister is leaving on Saturday to go to Scotland for at least a year. I have been threatened within an inch of my life to keep up with the blog. As I value my life very much, and I don't want my sister and brother-in-love to miss a second of their nephew and sibling's lives, I shall attempt to keep up with my blog.

Lets do a bit of the old catch up shall we? When we last left our hero, he was not weaned and driving me crazy. He is still unweaned but at least he is no longer driving me as crazy! He does say mama, however he never STOPS saying mama now. Sometimes it means me, other times it means he wants something, other times it means he forgot the word for Dada, but mostly it is just used for a roll call. Mama? Yea! Dada? Yea! Resume play. However, when one of us does not answer, the kid mutters under his breath like a curmudgeon sick of those darn kids on his lawn.

Oliver is still potty training very slowly, thinking about getting him some big boy trainers that will make him realize the wetness is bad, but doesn't destroy the carpet. He goes in the potty when he is pantless, but once cloth hits him he thinks potty time is over. Any ideas are appreciated!!

A charming development is his insistence that my belly is actually a "ball". As if I have utilized my skin apron (which HE gave me btw) to facilitate my ball hiding. No, I assure you son, there is a baby in there, not a soccer ball. Speaking of balls, Oliver had a staph infection on his junk for several weeks before we finally got rid of it using several creams, antibiotics and probiotics to counter the antibiotics. He also apparently gave his infection to a friend of his...awesome, my kid is not even two and already is a sesspool of VD.

Speaking of which, the baby which we shall now call "ball" is now onion sized. I am feeling a few twinges that might be the baby, but also might be the tacos I had for dinner. Good heartbeat, thanks to a friend who loaned me her doppler, and seems to be a bit more accommodating than my Oliver was with such things. Still on track for a home birth, decided not to have a second ultrasound as we really don't think it is necessary as we are not finding out the sex. People didn't get routine ultrasounds until about 15 years ago, so I am pretty sure we are fine.

As I said, I will try to keep it updated with videos, pictures, etc. I promise. No really, I do.

Imaginary Friends

This weekend, Oliver and I visited some friends I met almost two years ago online. Of course I was apprehensive, more about the solo flight with a toddler than I was about meeting some strange people (and staying with them) who live 2000 miles away! However, the weekend was a great success and I felt so welcomed by my host family! Oliver is a fantastic traveler and he charmed all he met. He nursed on take off and touch down which made his ears pop painlessly - ah nipples, the ultimate pacifier! The only issue we had was me falling asleep during a nursing session and when I awoke, he had unlatched and my breast was hanging out, winking at all who passed. I am sure the newly married couple that were my row mate really appreciated it. Well, I KNOW the husband who sat next to me did, as it was his burning stare that woke me from my slumber.

I got a taste of what a large Mormon family would be like, we had four children (3 and under) running around along with a newborn and a largely pregnant woman on the couch at one point. I loved it, looking into that whole plural marriage thing for myself, ESPECIALLY if we can have a husband like Ashleigh's husband Matt. This man adores his wife and kids, such devotion, even if it was on a delayed time table. I love that Oliver believes every woman is somehow related to him, and every man he meets too. I feel like because of the amazing friends I have, he will believe he was raised in a commune of some sort, surrounded by many hands supporting him and many hearts guiding him.

While I was there, Oliver showed off as to what a great big brother he was going to be. He fell in love with the newest baby there, Alex, son of Amy and Tim. He spent most of his time either holding Alex's hand, kissing his head or shooing other toddlers away from him.
We went to the zoo, which Oliver LOVED until he conked out! It was a lovely zoo with a variety of animals this girl was not used to getting from zoos. Those of you who do not know, the zoo in Austin sucks. More of a wildlife rescue center, so all of the panthers and things are toothless or blind. Sorta depressing! But this place was AWESOME!!

Looking at the sea lions

Taking turns (of course) riding horseys! From left to right: Riley, Wyatt, Oliver, Emma, and Tim.
SSSSS SSSS Snake!
Things I have taken away from this trip:
Amy talks so fast I can't understand most of the words in between the word "Fuck" but I bet they are hilarious!
Ashleigh is the cutest preggo ever and Oliver was convinced that she had a ball hidden on her somewhere.
Emma is sweet and so gentle with babies smaller than her...well except for Wyatt but he deserved it.
Matt will talk the paint off a building about anything and loves food. This was very good for me as I was hungry constantly during this trip, so he made me feel normal!
Riley loves Spiderman pajamas, until he is 23 I will always picture him in those PJs.
Tim is a very patient, sweet daddy and the perfect match for Amy.
Wyatt is the strong silent type, but at least he learned some sign language while we were there!

Thanks again Wilson Family for welcoming me, come down to Austin ANY TIME!!!

I wish I was an Oliver Goss Weaner...

Yea, I know. Kids wean themselves when they are ready. Don't tell me, this too will pass and they grow up so quickly! In my head I know all this is true, and he will probably wean sooner rather than later because I am pregnant and drying up but tell that to my ta-tas. I am so tired of the begging. The tapping on the breasts and whining until I finally either give up or start yelling. I feel the need to film what I go through on a daily basis with this kid so that people can see what I am talking about when I say distraction doesn't work. Soy milk doesn't equal breast milk no matter what you think.

He STILL wakes up in the middle of the night asking for it and screams like this is the first time I have told him no, EVERY. TIME. We even tried (semi) cold turkey this past weekend, by giving him to my mom for the weekend. He came back just as interested as he left! At this rate the kid will be potty trained before he is weaned. At this point I have narrowed down his feedings to three times a day. Morning, nap, and bedtime. He seems sorta okay with that, and as long as I am reading a book I can handle it without too many teeth being gnashed.

Here is where I wish he could talk, because most of the time he wants to "nurse" he really is bored, or tired, or hungry or thirsty or whatever. It would be nice if he could/would say what he really wanted instead of a catch all solution. I know that most likely, the reason he is still nursing is because he doesn't have the skills to communicate what he really wants, and it would be cruel to take away his one outlet so onward we go!

I can only hope that once my milk completely goes in the second trimester, he will lose interest and start talking!