Art, not Garfunkel

Oliver has been coughing on and off for a couple of days, probably just caught the cold that I had last week, so I decided to take the day off of all activities and stay home. I wanted to take advantage of this lazy day and sort through some newborn clothes, take a diaper count, etc. To see if there was anything I could possibly justify buying. I learned a few lessons today.

1. Never try to take a HUGE box of clothes down from a high shelf when you are alone and 5'2".

2. Thanks to my generosity, we do need newborn covers...yay!

3. We do not need newborn diapers, and most of our newborn clothes are gender neutral, so I won't need to bother with buying new clothes until we know the sex of the kiddo.

4. We have a ton of newborn white onesies so my next project will be to embellish them with dyes, fabric, and appliques.

5. Never. EVER. Turn your back on a toddler.

When I came out from being knee deep in infant gowns, I discovered my child making beautiful art with all of his crayons, several pieces of paper and finger paints. We have GOT to move the craft drawer up...He quickly decided that paper was not big enough to contain his creativity.

Its hard to be mad at such an artistic genius...they are only kids for so long, we just made a few pictures and took a mid afternoon bath before lunch!

You asked for it

You like a crying baby? You got a crying baby! So the background to this series of videos is that Oliver is in love with a pumpkin trick or treat basket that we bought at Goodwill for fifty cents. He carries it everywhere, puts his balls (tennis, not scrotum) in it, his juice in it, etc. The dog also loves the basket. It is squishy like a toy, has a handle, and Dante is pretty sure there is that fun white "snow" stuff in it to spread all over the yard. The problem? We only have one basket. So hellarity (misspelling on purpose) ensues every time Oliver decides to take the basket outside, and Dante decides he did so because he wanted her to play with it.

I got sick of chasing the dog down to get the basket back for Oliver who stands screeching on the porch. So, I put the basket up. Oliver then had the most dramatic meltdown ever. The dog licked herself and went to sleep, ready to steal the basket on another day.

Pumpkins and my pumpkin

Since Facebook obviously hates me and my pictures (but OTHER people can upload just FINE)...I decided to by pass the evil and just upload the awesomeness that is my son and fall on my blog.

Let me first say that Halloween is one of the major reasons I decided to become a mom. Hey, don't judge me! For some people it is Christmas, but since I never really got to do the whole dress up and beg for candy thing, I missed that part of growing up and couldn't wait to relive it through my children. Yes, I know, Reformation Fest was a blast, and admittedly it was pretty fun dressing up as your favorite Bible character and it never gets old seeing the virgin Mary bobbing for apples, but it just wasn't the same.

So when I had Oliver, I was PSYCHED. The first chance I got (he was 9 months old) I dressed him as a pumpkin and set him in the front yard with us to hand out candy to the children. Did you know 9 months old have the suck power to get a snickers out of a package without unwrapping it? Its true, they do, so just watch for that. This year was gonna be tops! He is nearly two, and surely he would totally 'get' the whole costume thing, and the candy thing, and everything!

Yea...not so much. So, my son, husband and I will once again be handing out candy in the front yard this year. At least I found super awesome costumes for us...more later.

We also decided to continue a Fall tradition from last year and visited the pumpkin patch. He ran the gambit of emotions, as toddlers are apt to do.

Frustration:
Silliness:


Hunger:

Greed:


Fear:

Happiness:

Anger (at his father's obvious latent homosexuality):


Of course, I was too busy trying to hide my tummy to notice...

Today...

Today I will hug my son a little tighter. Today I will cherish each wiggle. Today I will try not to think about the pink cheeks and tiny toes I never got to see, the body I never got to hold. Today I will count my blessings and not my losses. Today I will distract myself from dwelling on what could not be. Today I am not in labor, I am not anxiously awaiting my son or daughter's arrival. Today was the day I should have been, but am not, a new mommy all over again.

Today the sun is shining, to remind me not to cry. Today I will take pictures of the son I have and the belly I am growing. Today is just a day, not a birth day, not a labor day...and that is okay. Today the baby inside is reminding me that they did not leave, not for long, and are back to stay.

Tonight I will not wake to a crying newborn, my breasts will not flow, and my belly will not ache with emptiness. Tonight I will dream, of downy hair, of angel feathers, of my children's lost sibling. Tonight I will allow myself to grieve, to cry for what my life could look like. Tonight my sleep will be restless, but for today...for today, I smile for tomorrow.

Midwife Appointment - 17 weeks

Well, my midwife finally didn't have a birth to go to today! So, that means I had my appointment! The baby has a heart beat of 150ish, fundus measuring right on time and my blood pressure as always is fabulous! She had some amazing labor and deliveries in the past two weeks including a transfer to the hospital (after TWO DAYS) in which she was still able to catch the baby because the doctor was so late getting there. Heh! I LOVE hearing about her other birth stories, could listen all day!

It was really nice because Oliver decided to take a nice long 2 hour nap during our appointment so there was no doppler freak out or begging to nurse, or vying for my midwife's attention. Kristen (midwife) believes I am having a boy - she is of course wrong! - as does my mom. I sure would save a ton of money if it was another boy!! I am not having a gender scan, or actually, a second ultrasound at all. I just feel it is unnecessary unless there was a feeling something was wrong like spotting or something. In which case, I would get an ultrasound just to rule out something like placenta previa (placenta laying over the cervix) but I don't see that happening.

This pregnancy is so relaxed and easy going compared with Oliver's. I was SO anxious to hear his gender, so anxious about labor, and breastfeeding and becoming a mom. Though the home birth process is even more foreign to me than a hospital birth was, so in that way I do feel like a first timer again. Think about how many hospital births you have seen. Perhaps not in person but because of movies, TV shows and The Learning Channel, we all know the process. You go in, you change into a gown, you lay in a bed, they hook you up, you beg for an epidural, they threaten C-section, give you pitocin, threaten a section again, episiotomy, baby out and bottle in the mouth.

With a home birth, nothing is certain. I may give birth in any room, at any time, in any position. I just don't know! It is sorta amazing in that way, that I just have to listen to my body and when it tells me to get on all fours, I do, and when it tells me water would be a good idea, the bath gets filled. The most amazing part? No nurse is gonna come in every three minutes to tell me I am bonding wrong, or that the baby isn't safe, or congratulate me for "trying to breastfeed" before handing me two bags of formula! I am so excited that my baby will be born in an environment of love, caring and joy!

The video has nothing to do with the new baby but it was cute, and it is especially for my sister.

Happy Columbus Day!

Normally, I would say Gattiland is ALWAYS a good idea. Night or day, I am ready and willing for a delicious pizza buffet, and don't get me started on the ranch dressing. So, when my friend suggested our mom's group go for "Moms Eat Free Monday" I thought, cheap pizza? It is on!! Well, that was, until we got there and realized that every. single. school aged child in the area was there. Oh how you vex me Columbus Day!!

Here is the thing about buffets and toddlers. You have to take at least 15 trips to get everything you need. They are only possible with more than one adult. There is no way you can do it on your own. Remember that riddle about having one boat, a bag of rice, a chicken and a fox to get across a river? That is sorta how it is at a buffet. The baby is the boat. You can't leave the baby at the table alone, but you can only carry the baby and one other item OR if the baby will stand to be in the rolling highchair they provide, hands enough for two things, but you have to kick the highchair to your table.

So here is how it sorta went, and remember, this is with long lines and people apparently from a planet where lines don't exist. Seriously people, I realize you dressed up in your finest cut off shorts and wife beater to come today, but pretend you are in Walmart, you know that place you usually hang out in? They have lines THERE, so I know you know what they are.

Trip One: Baby in highchair, plate on highchair tray, four pieces of pizza gotten after 10 minutes of line. Half way through, baby is no longer in highchair, the diaper bag is. Plate is balanced in my hand and highchair is kicked to table.

Trip Two: Baby at table with friend (thank god!) I run to get two drinks, forks, napkins and watermelon for friend's baby.

Trip Three: Ranch dressing and salad bar for Oliver.

Trip Four: Refill on juice that Oliver has drank as I was running back and forth to the buffet.

Trip Five: Macaroni and cheese which took me 5 minutes because the 6 year old in front of me wanted to be sure to get the exact right macaronis on her plate.

Trip Six: Standing in line again until the fourth person decided there was actually no line, just a bunch of people standing around for their health, and I gave up on pizza.

I burned more calories running to and fro from the buffet and then chasing Oliver around the game room (pretty sure Oliver has ADD now) than I did eating the three tiny pieces of pizza I ended up having. I did end up nursing Oliver in the middle of 4000 school aged kids and their parents though, with no incident of questioning remarks or angry eyes. At that point though, it was just so I could scarf the infinitesimal amounts of pizza I ended up grabbing.

Note to self: check the calendar BEFORE you leave the house!

Meltdown #1

Hey, I made it to nearly 17 weeks without an emotional meltdown!! Sure, these human emotions came creeping back almost immediately after I got that positive stick. I cry at the normal girl stuff like sappy movies, kid's books and the occasional country song, but no moment of, "hey, wait, why am I crying and why can't I stop." However, my streak was not to last.

Today I got up at 6:30 because of continued diarrhea - awesome! - which woke the baby up. While the kiddo ate his oatmeal, I started to read a 94 page paper on the Swine Flu vaccination, pretty typical day in our house. Then, just as CT was coming down stairs, I notice that Oliver's juice cup has spilled all over the couch. Oh joy! So glad we spent so much money on a new couch!! I went back to reading after it was cleaned. CT makes himself some breakfast and asks me if I want any, I say no because food in the morning makes me want to hurl even when I am not sporting a fundus.

I decide that yes, some eggs ARE a good idea so CT goes to make me some. Oliver is playing with a ball on the floor, and I hear it bouncing. I thought. Turns out it was CT's coffee that spilled everywhere. Instant anger from CT, which I figured was turned on me for not watching HIS coffee closer. I rush to clean it, CT rants and raves a bit in the kitchen. I notice that CT - who is cleaning up after my shoddy clean-up job (only he can do it right after all) - has left the stove on. I quickly turn it off cause the last thing I need is him yelling at me because the pan burned. He notices a few minutes later and yells "what now you DON'T want to eat?" and I tried to explain that it was because I didn't want it to burn and him get mad at me.

At this point I notice that he has egg on his face, literally, and I grab the towel to wipe it off. He jerks the towel and my arm attached around until I let go of it and in tears now, explain that he just had something on his face and I was gonna get it. He freaks out and asks me what my problem is and that I have been mad all morning. SO not true...but now I can't stop crying. I make MYSELF an egg while sobbing uncontrollably.

I realize this is probably not actually what happened, and that this is just what it looks like in the eyes of a pregnant lady. The rest of the morning went just as badly, it rained, the baby missed naptime and cried for 30 minutes IN the church, I had a ton of coupons to cut, etc. Normal crap sure, but I just want to cry constantly.

Random Videos

Well, in my desire to write more blogs, I decided to get organized today with all my hundreds of pictures and tens of videos. Here are some videos that don't go with any particular blog, but I still want you all to see. So here is a mish mash of all the fun things Oliver has been up to since I last updated videos. Now in all one post!





Oliver dancing in his carseat to Ani DiFranco. Man, once those horns come on, he can't sit still!!



Baby #2's video debut. This video is LONG so you may want to fast forward to the end unless you just enjoy seeing my huge disgusting white flesh staring at you in the face. In which case...SICKO!

Oliver helping with laundry day. Some one had to, notice what a mess his room is...it has since seen the wrath of a nesting pregnant woman and is now livable again, at least that is what I told CPS.


Oliver has various fears that are new and exciting. Here are two of them. First, dead bugs/lizards.

Next fear, rain. Not just Purple Rain, but all rain. It even frightens him when he sees raindrops on the window of the car. Here is what started it, the first rain after a LONG drought. Poor kid probably didn't know what was happening!



This is my favorite of the bunch, and while it IS short, it is worth it just for the laugh, albeit fake as a three dollar bill.

In the Garden

To distract us all from the pain of losing a sister/aunt/sister-in-law to Scotland today, my mother in law came all the way from Dallas to visit us and cheer us up! We went to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center right outside of San Antonio (otherwise known as South Austin). I do not recommend going in the Fall, it was a bit like paying $7 a head to look at dried grass and mosquito breeding ponds. Oliver however, did not care one bit about the flowers. He was far too busy pointing out the "OWs" (cacti) and trying to go into restricted areas. Here are some pictures. From our trip I have learned the following things about toddler ownership.

1. Ponds are for throwing rocks into

2. Sometimes the wind needs help to make the best music

3. Running is only fun when you are running ahead, not running behind.

4. Wildflowers are for looking at, but they smell bad

5. Spineless cacti are a great way to freak out your mom

6. Flower sniffing is exhausting!

After our wildflower perusing, we had a lunner (lunch/dinner) at Threadgills. Did you know they have free refills on sides!!? Holy crap it blew my ever-loving mind!! How long have I been going there, wishing I could get just a bit more macaroni or a titch more collard greens and wished I could, but was afraid to be charged another $3? How could I not know!? I told the waitress it was ON next visit, and I meant it, and she knew it...I saw the fear in her eyes.

Solids Strike

Can kids live on juice? My kid used to be a good eater, he ate veggies and fruits and beans and everything! Well, he never ate meat, or rather, ate meat as much as people are supposed to eat meat, about once a week or so. Now? I can hardly get him to eat anything. It is so frustrating! I promised myself I would never be one of those moms who made him eat everything on his plate, because I really do think kids know when they need food and when they are done, but this is getting to be ridiculous!

Foods I can get him to eat no matter what include:
Cheese
Chips
French Fries
Beans and rice
Green beans fresh from the garden
Carrots from the garden
Peppers from the garden
(seriously, the kid won't eat grocery store produce)

Foods that are hit or miss:
Apples
Bananas
Eggs
Chicken
tomatoes
Greens (only in soups)
broccoli

Foods that are right out:
Red meat
corn
peas

Okay, well, I guess he isn't on a strike...maybe I just need to calm the heck down. I worry that he eats too much fruit and not enough veggies. I think I need to just trust that he knows what his little body needs and supply him with variety. We try to keep sweets to a minimum (which some people believe makes him mistreated -cough, mama, cough) and I would rather him have fruit than ice cream or something. How much fruit is too much? Is it okay that he never sits down to eat a meal? He is constantly picking at food and walking around with it, BIG snacker. Is that okay?

Ketchup

My sister is leaving on Saturday to go to Scotland for at least a year. I have been threatened within an inch of my life to keep up with the blog. As I value my life very much, and I don't want my sister and brother-in-love to miss a second of their nephew and sibling's lives, I shall attempt to keep up with my blog.

Lets do a bit of the old catch up shall we? When we last left our hero, he was not weaned and driving me crazy. He is still unweaned but at least he is no longer driving me as crazy! He does say mama, however he never STOPS saying mama now. Sometimes it means me, other times it means he wants something, other times it means he forgot the word for Dada, but mostly it is just used for a roll call. Mama? Yea! Dada? Yea! Resume play. However, when one of us does not answer, the kid mutters under his breath like a curmudgeon sick of those darn kids on his lawn.

Oliver is still potty training very slowly, thinking about getting him some big boy trainers that will make him realize the wetness is bad, but doesn't destroy the carpet. He goes in the potty when he is pantless, but once cloth hits him he thinks potty time is over. Any ideas are appreciated!!

A charming development is his insistence that my belly is actually a "ball". As if I have utilized my skin apron (which HE gave me btw) to facilitate my ball hiding. No, I assure you son, there is a baby in there, not a soccer ball. Speaking of balls, Oliver had a staph infection on his junk for several weeks before we finally got rid of it using several creams, antibiotics and probiotics to counter the antibiotics. He also apparently gave his infection to a friend of his...awesome, my kid is not even two and already is a sesspool of VD.

Speaking of which, the baby which we shall now call "ball" is now onion sized. I am feeling a few twinges that might be the baby, but also might be the tacos I had for dinner. Good heartbeat, thanks to a friend who loaned me her doppler, and seems to be a bit more accommodating than my Oliver was with such things. Still on track for a home birth, decided not to have a second ultrasound as we really don't think it is necessary as we are not finding out the sex. People didn't get routine ultrasounds until about 15 years ago, so I am pretty sure we are fine.

As I said, I will try to keep it updated with videos, pictures, etc. I promise. No really, I do.