Call me crazy. Call me mean. Tell me that I am creating a tiny psychopath and am a bad mother, but I will tell you something, I am now a well rested bad mother. Here is what our bedtime ritual used to look like.
5pm Fussing because it is too early for dinner and too late for nap
5:30pm I am about to go crazy waiting for CT to get home so I can make dinner
6pm Rushing through making dinner so we can feed the boy
6:30pm Giving up on making and eating dinner because baby is so fussy
7pm Nursing baby to "sleep"
7:30pm Tries to lay the baby down, he wakes up screaming as I leave the room
7:45pm Walking the baby around the room while he screams
8pm Give the baby to CT who walks the baby around the room while he screams
8:30pm Baby nurses some more
9pm Lays the baby down once more, this time without breathing
10:30pm Baby wakes screaming, sleeps with us nursing all night long
As you can see, this schedule is enough to drive anyone crazy, and without even realizing it, the baby was miserable and crying through most of it. Our need to be the perfect attachment parents drove us to try to put a crying baby to sleep by letting him cry, albeit in our arms.
So, during quite a difficult morning that was preceeded by several difficult days, a very stinky and very tired mommy decided that there are two choices here. Either put the baby down and let him cry while I take a shower (5 minutes TOPS - I shower like a man) or I will break that #1 rule and shake that baby until he stops. The choice was clear.
By the time I finished my sprint shower, there was nothing. No crying, no sobbing, no screaming. The baby was asleep. ASLEEP! 2 hours later when he woke up, I loved him again. Breakthrough! A few days later we decided to try it with night-time. He cried for three minutes, and then, sleep until 2am. Now our routine looks like this:
6pm Dinner is served, baby eats whether it is something we are eating or just cheerios
6:30pm Bathtime followed by nakey time
7pm Nursing to sleep
7:30pm Lay baby down in the crib he fusses
7:31pm I hardly get downstairs by the time he is asleep
1am Baby wakes, nursed to sleep and back in bed
7am Wake up refreshed and happy!!
So what is worse, having a baby scream in your arms for two hours or cry in a crib for 5 minutes?
4 comments:
I did the same thing :) she sleeps through the night ...
good job Oliver :)
I told you Dr. Ferber was a genius! Don't be disappointed if all the nights dont go so well. I have found that Ramona doesnt sleep very well if she hasnt pooped that day.
While I don't think Ferber is a genius (one of my kids would have cried three straight hours if we did that), it sure is true that some babies will just fuss a minute than konk out. YAY that you have one. I did, too, and that is probably why I dared have a second. If #2 had been first, nope, that would have been it!
Brilliant! I did the same thing with Em and she goes right to sleep most nights... now if only it worked for naps... Glad you are getting your sleep mama!!
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